| When Do You Give Up On Someone? |
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| Written by Randy Ganther |
| Wednesday, 25 April 2012 00:00 |
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Some people think you should never give up on other people. I say that's wrong.
I hear all the time, "Well Randy, people change." I agree with that. And I will add, they change about as often as they want to, which is rare. Determining when you give up on someone is based on a number of factors. Doing this correctly, will determine your success in your own lifetime, and that is what I am about to reveal.
I was at one of my favorite restaurants the other day for lunch (name withheld because I still want to give them a chance) and I had an issue with the waiter that perfectly illustrates my point.
I like to tip well when good service is rendered, so I don't like it when a waiter/waitress makes it hard for me (or anyone else) to do so.
He did a great job, and my total came to $13 and change. I gave him a $20 bill and he came back with my coins, a $1 bill, and a $5 bill. Normally on this amount I would leave $3-4. My only options the way he left it was that he would either get $1 (too low) or $5 (too high). Also, when wait staff does this I feel like they are trying to get you to leave the five, which I take offense to.
So, I left him the $1 and I wrote him a note on the reciept saying "I would have liked to leave you a better tip, but you didn't leave enough ones to give me that option. Maybe next time. Have a great day."
I came back for dinner, and it was the same waiter. I know he remembered me because as he sat me he mentioned, "Back so soon?"
This time my meal was only $8 and change. I again gave him a $20 bill. The change he brought back this time was my coins, a $1 bill, and a $10. Again, he got the $1 bill, but no note this time. I tried just three hours earlier, he remembered me, and still didn't figure it out. This is the point when I gave up on him, and didn't even bother to write a note. He just isn't going to get it - to his own detriment. When he could have had $7 in tips, he ended up with $2. Not my problem. Sure I could have asked for change, but you shouldn't make me. I'm not going to. At least I was kind enough to write a note the first time. You're on your own from this point forward.
This reminds me of a quote in The Little Book For Huge Success Vol. 2, p. 44 "If you want something from someone...make it as easy as possible for that person to give you what you want."
So what does this have to do with knowing when to give up on someone? Well, people might change, but it's not up to you to change them. You have to determine when it's a waste of your time to continue trying. If it's a relative, you may spend a little more time with that person than someone else. If it's a waiter, you may give up on him the second time.
The bottom line is that you have to spend the majority of your time making your own life better. Giving all your time to someone who couldn't care less is a huge waste of your time. If someone is inclined to change they will seek out the truth - from you, or from somewhere else. As the saying goes, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."
Until next time, Best of Success!
Randy
You may reprint or repost this article with the following included: This article previously posted on www.RandyGanther.com and is reprinted with the permission of Randy Ganther. Randy is a goal-setting and human peak-performance expert, and the author of The Little Book For HUGE Success series of books. His motivational products can be found at www.MaximumSuccessStore.com.
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